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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Getting Down With Your Writing Self: Foreplay, Braingasms, And Their Place In Writing

Foreplay. What's not to love? It adds heat and suspense, flirtation and intensity. It teases you and gets you leaves you wanting more. If you were starting a relationship and your date just whipped it out-no explanation, no foreplay, no sweetness-just started trying to mount you while you were sipping your soda--well, I'd HOPE you'd be a little alarmed. No, people want to feel special. We want to feel sexy and loved. Well, so do our inner writers.

If your inner writer is just chillin out, going about her business and you try to ambush her into writing, she might get a little pissed off at you. Why should she write for you? Because your literary tits are larger than her ex's? Because you've got a big, bad, needy writer dick? I don't think so.

You have to initiate foreplay. This is how:

1) Mood
Remember the years of taking standardized tests? Sitting in overly bright rooms, watching the light glare against the too white walls? Yeah...that's really not sexy. Your inner writer does not want to feel like you're trying to make love to her in the middle of a mental hospital. You have to get her in the mood. Make an area just for the two of you. Dim the lights. Clean up a bit. Maybe light some candles. If she likes the sun, take her outside and set up a blanket or lounge chair or sit at a picnic table.

Put on something comfy, or sexy, or smart. Take everything off and wear nothing at all. Whatever works for you.

2) Music
It doesn't matter what you listen to. Loud and fast, slow and sweet. Maybe just a nature tape of some waterfalls. Create a place that your inner writer would want to be.

Another option is playing something to inspire your characters. Play music that fits your characters' moods for the scene you're currently on. It will not only coax them to come out and play, but will help you get more in touch with them.

3) Find inner homeostasis
Sometimes, your inner writer needs something before you begin. Whether it's meditation, talking with a friend, rockin' out, drawing, playing with your kids...maybe it's a really BIG piece of chocolate cake. Maybe, it actually is sexual. Maybe, your inner writer has an intense need to masturbate. (I say masturbate instead of sex, because unless your partner is a writer or you're going for a true one night stand, usually the whole "Hey, can we just do it real quick, so that I can then leave you immediately to go write." thing doesn't fly...
The hardest one is when your inner writer can't be happy until you get other things done. You have to really know yourself if this happens, and either realize that your writing is also important and try to get it done or create a time management schedule. Whatever it is, make sure your inner writer is at peace before you start.

4) Literary Masturbation
I know that a bunch of you busy people or parents (aren't they the same thing?) are saying, "when will I ever have the time to do all that." Of course, there's always the option of scheduling it in to make sure it happens. However, here's another option: literary masturbation. Get it all out without a laptop or even a pen.

If you can, put on some headphones; if not, just go into your own little world. It doesn't matter if you're in line at the supermarket or waiting at the doctor's office, just let yourself go to your story. Imagine the scenes. See them vividly. What are your characters saying? Sometimes it helps to always keep things with you to aid the process: an mp3 player, a stress ball, a pocket notebook. If you can coax yourself there, into your safe place, into yourself, and take yourself to your story, then you will be more willing to go back to it later, will know exactly what you want to write, and will be able to write in less time when you finally have the time.

Follow these four simple steps and you'll be sure to be braingasming in no time. :-)

<3 Gina Blechman

26 comments:

  1. Oh this was FABULOUS! Though I confess to occasionally enjoying being taken totally by surprise... but not by someone I don't have... you know... some level of trust with.

    But I LOVE the innuendo in your recommendations! As for me... mood setters? Pour the bath. Pour some wine. Get naked... Do a SUDOKU... and I am ready to write... (the getting take usually happens in those early hours of the morning when I wake up being pestered... won't leave me alone... so I have to get out of bed and WRITE THE darned thing DOWN!

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  2. Haha. Thank you so much for that comment. It made me smile. And yes, I do believe that everyone enjoys being jumped every once and a while. (...or, maybe that's just me.)

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  3. OMG I love this post. Fantastic!!!!!

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  4. This was hilarious! Love it. Except listening to music while I write. I must have ADD or something because I can't listen to music while writing. Unless it's instrumental. Otherwise, I catch myself singing along and not writing. Yes, I'm disturbed.

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  5. At first I was laughing because of the visual I was getting about my husband just wanting to mount me out of the blue...then the more I read the more it made sense and think that this post is brilliant! You are absolutely right about seducing the muse. They need to feel special too. This made my night. Thanks for the post. New follower and fellow crusader. :D

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  6. Oh my. I think you are right target. :)
    I'm a fellow crusader and new follower. Nice to meet you.

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  7. Too funny! Half of me was blushing and the other half chortling.

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  8. What a great way to look at it! Though sometimes I do have to take my inner writer and yell "get off Facebook and grab that notebook and pen already!"
    Lattes help too [g]

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  9. Oh my gosh! I clicked over because of the title...and wasn't disappointed. What a great analogy and so funny!

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  10. OMG! I was so not expecting this. Especially literary masturbation!

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  11. Hi from a fellow Crusader! Crazy post (you definitely have some points here) :)

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  12. Now I'm really looking forward to braingasming. Great stuff.

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  13. Now that's a new way to say it! Good stuff. I'll see you around the crusade.

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  14. Such a great way to put it!

    Nice to meet you :)

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  15. love your perspective!
    And
    love your creative fluids!


    You are a Rockstar writer.

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  16. I love the fact that your post is riddled with so much sexual innuendo. Very clever. It makes me want to go read Nifty Archive.

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  17. I agree. I think it's often a little more subtle than planning a ritual; you get seduced by the characters and the words.

    I now want to make all sorts of dirty puns that would probably get me banned. Aaaahem.

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  18. This was excellent. It is impossible to write when I know that the laundry is getting mildewy in the washer. That sort of pressure is not conducive to the writing mood. And, as a romance writer, writing 'those scenes' takes an entirely different mood (and the scene won't be right if I'm focused about getting from point a to point b).
    Great post and glad to find you.

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  19. Absolutely inspiring :) My form of literary masturbation is usually in commenting on a few blogs. Puts me in the writerly frame of mind. I know, weird.

    .......dhole

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  20. MT. Dew out the nose. Thanks for the laugh fellow crusader.

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  21. Thanks for bringing my attention to this! Very interesting ideas, and goodness, you made me blush reading an article on engaging my inner writer, *LOL*. My inner writer thanks you. :)

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  22. I do much of this in my sleep. Morning arrives and with the coffee I'm anxious to dive in.

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  23. Wow Gina. I did not see that coming. xD This was too funny! "Literary tits" and "writer dick". Yeah. That radiates awesome, right there.

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  24. So, with words including phonemes like "asm" and "urbation" I find my thoughts running along good lines for writing my entry to LMStull's Comedy Erotica competition - if you're not already in, you probably should be :)

    And this is all your fault because you commented about erotica on my blog. Although that was probably my fault because I brought it up first. Let's just agree that we're both at fault - go find LMStull on Twitter and she'll tell you all about it :)

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  25. Hahaha, Gina I lovee you so much. The best part is I could imagine your sarcastic little voice intonations as I read the parentheses parts :p

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